Welcome to the February edition of Tips and Topics.

In SAVVY, It is six years since I lost my wife. In this update on my grief process, I have broadened what I have learned about Work, Love and Play. In SAVVY Tips I apply these to not just the loss of a loved one by death, but loss by divorce or any love partnership break-up.

In SKILLS, Tips on where to start after a death, divorce or breakup. Job 1 is doing the work to love yourself and know how to live alone. Once you are ready to date, caution about looking for love in all the wrong places... tips about dating apps.

In SOUL, I embrace my retirement and the Triad of Fulfillment, the US Surgeon General’s parting prescription. Dr. Vivek Hallegere Murthy, the 19th & 21st Surgeon General of the United States, announced “My Parting Prescription for America” on January 7, 2025.

What distinguishes good therapy from not-so-good therapy? What to do to make each session as alive as possible? Guest writer Victor Yalom explains. Madison Keys, tennis and therapy.

Welcome to the January edition and may 2025 be a year of success and well-being.

In SAVVY, guest writer Victor Yalom, Ph.D. previews his new Masterclass video and answers, "What distinguishes good therapy from not-so-good therapy? What to do to make each session as alive as possible?"

In SKILLS, he offers SKILLS Tips on "How to help clients engage in an internal discover process so they discover new things about themselves? What exactly can therapists do to speed up this process?

In SOUL, Madison Keys, a USA tennis player won her first Grand Slam tournament January 25, 2025 after over a decade of trying. She credits therapy for helping her look at herself and stop self-defeating “internal talk” that allowed this particular first big win.

“The Health Care System Is Flawed. Let’s Fix It”; Can something good come from Brian Thompson’s murder?; What you can do to improve your health; Do you care about the 26 million?

Welcome to the December edition and Happy Holidays to all.

In SAVVY, Brian Thompson, CEO of UnitedHealthcare, was fatally shot on December 4, 2024. His boss, Andrew Witty wrote an essay, “The Health Care System Is Flawed. Let’s Fix It” that starts with looking at some cold hard facts about our US healthcare system.

In SKILLS, I don’t pretend to have solutions for improving the American healthcare system. But I refer you to a mix of research findings that recommend actions you can take as an individual to improve your physical, addiction and mental health.

In SOUL, why can’t the richest and most powerful country in the world care for the health of their citizens as a right and priority? It’s not about money, because we spend more than other developed countries but get far worse health outcomes.

Lessons from a Case Consultation on how to assess what a client really wants and engage them in treatment; Observations and insights about my world travel.

Welcome to the November edition.

In SAVVY, I discuss a Case Consultation on a client mandated for treatment. I explain how probing the information in the “Client Description” with a few more questions helps assess what is most important to the client, in hopes of enhancing their motivation for recovery.

In SKILLS, I suggest how to assess mandated clients who also seem to express some pain over how addiction has affected their lives. Are they really wanting treatment and recovery or are they ambivalent? And how do you collaborate with a person who wants a less intensive level than has been assessed and recommended?

In SOUL, I review the many countries I had the privilege to travel and see this year. I share some observations, feelings and insights that I experienced, grateful for the health and resources to make that travel possible.

Radical hospitality and welcoming; Key practices and changing terminology; An atheist goes to heaven.

Welcome to the October edition.

In SAVVY, I discovered this month a term I had not known before: “radical hospitality.” “Radical welcome” is a process that engages people in partnerships for healing health equity.

In SKILLS, ten key practices to consider as you prepare to create an inclusive event environment. Suggestions for changing stigmatizing terminology to more welcoming words for people suffering from addiction.

In SOUL, an atheist goes to heaven and gets some interesting answers to his questions. I hope you are more effective in whatever is your spiritual journey, than I was at learning and growing from my roots in Fundamental Christianity.

Tidbits of relationship wisdom from Instagram posts; Make use of triggering; What jury duty sparked for me about how welcoming and inviting our justice and treatment services are, or are not.

Welcome to the September edition.

In SAVVY, the importance of your personal work to allow you to be fully present with clients, friends and loved ones. It is through our relationships that we discover our wounds.

In SKILLS, commit to conflict resolution and embrace triggering as a mirror that reflects what needs healing and acceptance. It is a skill that is the path to empowerment.

In SOUL, how my summons to appear for jury duty sparked thoughts on how to make justice and treatment services more welcoming, customer-friendly and less intimidating.

How to shift the focus and change the channel on counterproductive thoughts and behaviors; Guest writer on managing anxiety; the 17-seconds rule and remembering cars in San Francisco to stop momentum.

Welcome to the August edition.

In SAVVY, Taylor guest writes about his two-prong strategy for managing anxiety: What to do when freaking out; and How to minimize freak-outs in the first place.

In SKILLS, Taylor suggests three Tips on how to change the channel and shift your focus from unwanted anxiety, thoughts and behaviors.

In SOUL, I share two concepts that I have found effective for stopping the momentum of counterproductive thoughts, worries and anxieties.

Cultural competence and implications for our current political environment; two men who lived under Soviet communist rule; the Happiness gap.

Welcome to the July edition.

In SAVVY, understanding cultural competence and the elements that define culture provides the opportunity to navigate the intense political environment that is upon us in the USA.

In SKILLS, it is important to practice cultural competence and empathy if we are ever to close the gap on political division. How you choose to get the news and “facts” shapes your values, beliefs, norms and worldview.

In SOUL, how is it that people in cultures where they have fewer modern conveniences can often be happier than we who have so much at our fingertips? What is the antidote to the happiness gap?

To parent or not to parent? Is it “You’ll change your mind” or “I love them. I just don’t love the choice I made”? Arguments for and against having children (from my children). How did we do parenting our three children? I share the evidence.

Welcome to the June edition.

In SAVVY, Naomi Campbell and R.O. Kwon present opposite views on whether to have children or not. To women who don’t want to be mothers, Campbell says “You will change your mind.” Kwon writes about parents who regret having children and their anguish. There are almost no spaces where a parent can discuss the taboo topic of regret.

In SKILLS, what are the top two or three reasons to HAVE or NOT HAVE children? If you had to make a case for the OPPOSITE choice, what are the two or three top reasons? Read how my three children responded to these questions.

In SOUL, I reflect on the nature and quality of our parenting skills and history and conclude that the State of the Union and parenting effectiveness was very good. Check out the reasons I offered.

Welcome to the May edition. You may notice something different about this month’s edition. Tips and Topics will now be housed on The Change Companies' website. If you click on the Resources tab and scroll down, you’ll see Tips and Topics. You can search the archives of over 21 years of content. If you type in tipsntopics.com, you will be re-directed to Tips and Topics’ new home.

I have had a productive and treasured collaboration with The Change Companies (TCC) for many years. Reconnecting Tips and Topics with TCC promises to expand the effectiveness of that collaboration...stay tuned!

In SAVVY, I highlight two of four presentations I will be doing at RISE24 in Anaheim, CA May 22-25, 2024: “Now What? A Deep Dive on Standard V and the Challenge of Putting Treatment and Recovery Management Into Practice” and “Trauma, Sobriety and Treatment Court Compliance – Finding the Balance in Behavior Change” with Leah Elsbernd.

In SKILLS, a few highlights from the other two presentations: “Skill-Building for
Treatment and Justice Teams – How to Quickly Develop an Alliance to Help People
Change” and “A Judge and Psychiatrist Unpack How to Move from Compliance to
Lasting Change: Attitudes and Practical Tips for Justice and Treatment Teams”.

In SOUL, I’m moving from my house and our home of 25 years to a new downsized, comfortable and brand new house. It’s a time of reflection, de-cluttering and change.