Father’s Day, Lessons from 40 years of parenting – a grandfather’s perspective; RULER; Out of the mouths of babes.

In SAVVY, to help children, students and even adults “name their emotions to tame their emotions”, Marc Brackett coined RULER to develop critical and inter-related emotional skills.  Honor your feelings, desires and hopes for your child, but help them learn how to express feelings and needs in a way that fits their temperament and personality, not yours. But there is relief in understanding “good enough parenting”.

In SKILLS, I apply RULER to help parents have a discussion with their children about their feelings, needs and values especially in the context of the family’s values. In the immediacy of the situation, there isn’t time to have a feelings, needs and values discussion.  But in a quiet moment, parents can help their children “become the best them, not the best you.”

In SOUL, “out of the mouth of babes” is when a child says something that surprises you because it seems very wise. My 6 year old granddaughter had one of those moments of wisdom and pointed out that love for each other and arguing are not mutually exclusive.

Overdoses are up, but do we really need just more residential beds?; How to determine initial length of stay and authorization periods; Freddy enters my world.

In SAVVY & STUMP THE SHRINK, is residential care the first priority in responding to the increase in opioid overdoses?  Some States mandate certain periods of time that ban managed care authorizations and requirements for individualized treatment.  I suggest that what we really need in addiction treatment is not just more residential beds and time.

In SKILLS & SYSTEMS, treatment providers and Managed Care Organizations should not be “lined up on different sides of the aisle”.  To determine initial length of stay and authorization periods for an addiction client, think about what you would do for other health conditions.

In SOUL, Fred IV enters my world and joins Siri, Google and my Toyota Prius to help me navigate my cleaning, driving and knowledge worlds.

Rules or Treatment Plans? Relationships and Hooking Up; Getting your head and heart around understanding addiction

In SAVVY, STUMP THE SHRINK & SKILLS, in this combined section, I address co-ed relationships and hooking up while in treatment; Treatment, Rules, or Discharge, not just about these behaviors but also how to address any behavior concerns while in treatment.

In SOUL, I wonder about how hard it is for Justice teams and treatment providers to pivot away from consequences and sanctions for addiction flare-ups; rules and regulations; and compliance and mandates for prosocial behavior. Talk to people in long-term recovery.

Guest writers focus on Problem Gambling Awareness Month; Letting the chips fall where they may

Welcome to the March edition of Tips and Topics and guest writers focused on Gambling in honor of

Problem Gambling Awareness Month

In SAVVY, George Mladenetz informs us about Gambling Treatment Diversion Courts.

In SKILLS, Olubukunola Oyedele, PhD shares results from a small sample study he did on gambling and COVID-19 in New Jersey residents.

In SOUL, I share some natty little phrases that are rich in concept and meaning, but poor in follow through – easy to say, but hard to do.

Two years since I lost my wife; Hope Edelman on “The AfterGrief”; Carrying our loved ones forward; Getting back more than what you lost.

In SAVVY, the history of grief shaped our thinking that grief should be a process to be completed and from which we move on.  Hope Edelman challenges those concepts of grief and speaks of understanding grieving as a lifelong process.

In SKILLS, a couple of tips on how to move forward with grief as a lifelong process.

In SOUL, I share about work, love and play and how you really can get back MORE than what you lost.

Can terminology reduce stigma in opioid addiction? Different terminology for different stigma goals; Facing up to saving and losing face. FaceTime needed. 

In SAVVY, a new study researched what terminology would reduce stigma in the prevention and treatment of opioid addiction.

In SKILLS, the choice of terminology may depend on the purpose of communication. Use medical terminology to decrease blame for addiction.  Use non-medical terminology to increase confidence that the person can recover and is not dangerous.

In SOUL, it is not about “losing face” or “saving face” over the Presidential election results.  It’s about “facing up” to “face our problems” and use some “FaceTime” to listen to each other.

Conflict, compromise, compassion; Better Arguments; Grieving a lost sister

In SAVVY, apply the three Cs to your family relationships, your clients and patients, or to your friends and neighborhood as well as bridging the political divide and the ongoing rancor.

In SKILLS, I highlight the dimensions and principles of the Better Arguments Project, a group with an initiative to heal America in the aftermath of the 2020 election.

In SOUL, two sisters’ relationship is severed prompted by the political divide and who voted for the “other side”. How about your family and friends?  Are you grieving over a fractured relationship?

Braver Angels and coming together after the election; marriage counseling techniques to bridge the political divide; CHEMMites.

Welcome to the November edition of Tips and Topics.  For readers in the USA, may you have a safe, joyful and meaningful Thanksgiving whether you are together with your loved ones in person or online.

In SAVVY, I just learnt about a group called Braver Angels, an initiative to heal America in the aftermath of the 2020 election. I connect you to them in hopes you may be interested.

In SKILLS, I summarize techniques and tips based on marriage counseling skills that Braver Angels has found effective in bridging political gaps.  These skills apply across all conflicts to improve understanding and empathy.

In SOUL, I share WhatsApp texts with my longtime childhood friends in Australia when they asked me about the Presidential election.

Addiction – Disease? Willful misconduct? Harm Reduction?; How to be a child.

Welcome to the October edition of Tips and Topics.

In SAVVY, I answer two follow-up questions arising from last month’s edition. The first asks how addiction is compared to other health issues. The second asks about a Harm Reduction approach to addiction versus a “medical model”.

In SKILLS, I have excerpted learning points and comments from several readers who responded to the dialogue about “After a patient is discharged… is there a period of time that patients should have to wait before being readmitted to the clinic?”

In SOUL, I reflect on how children are focused on fun, joy, laughter and full self expression. Then we adults gradually suppress that spontaneity only to devote time, money and energy in personal development workshops to rediscover and reawaken that “inner child”.

Stump the Shrink and how long to ban readmission for a discharged patient; indoor plants make me happy and healthy

In SAVVY, SKILLS and STUMP THE SHRINK, follow my thinking process as I ponder how to respond to a nurse practitioner’s question about how long should a program make a discharged client wait before readmitting them – 30 days, a year or what?

In SOUL, I discovered that plants and nature are good for us in almost every way you can think about. My indoor plants are not only fun to see grow and develop, but they are good for my health.