Tidbits of relationship wisdom from Instagram posts; Make use of triggering; What jury duty sparked for me about how welcoming and inviting our justice and treatment services are, or are not.

Welcome to the September edition.

In SAVVY, the importance of your personal work to allow you to be fully present with clients, friends and loved ones. It is through our relationships that we discover our wounds.

In SKILLS, commit to conflict resolution and embrace triggering as a mirror that reflects what needs healing and acceptance. It is a skill that is the path to empowerment.

In SOUL, how my summons to appear for jury duty sparked thoughts on how to make justice and treatment services more welcoming, customer-friendly and less intimidating.

How to shift the focus and change the channel on counterproductive thoughts and behaviors; Guest writer on managing anxiety; the 17-seconds rule and remembering cars in San Francisco to stop momentum.

Welcome to the August edition.

In SAVVY, Taylor guest writes about his two-prong strategy for managing anxiety: What to do when freaking out; and How to minimize freak-outs in the first place.

In SKILLS, Taylor suggests three Tips on how to change the channel and shift your focus from unwanted anxiety, thoughts and behaviors.

In SOUL, I share two concepts that I have found effective for stopping the momentum of counterproductive thoughts, worries and anxieties.

Cultural competence and implications for our current political environment; two men who lived under Soviet communist rule; the Happiness gap.

Welcome to the July edition.

In SAVVY, understanding cultural competence and the elements that define culture provides the opportunity to navigate the intense political environment that is upon us in the USA.

In SKILLS, it is important to practice cultural competence and empathy if we are ever to close the gap on political division. How you choose to get the news and “facts” shapes your values, beliefs, norms and worldview.

In SOUL, how is it that people in cultures where they have fewer modern conveniences can often be happier than we who have so much at our fingertips? What is the antidote to the happiness gap?

To parent or not to parent? Is it “You’ll change your mind” or “I love them. I just don’t love the choice I made”? Arguments for and against having children (from my children). How did we do parenting our three children? I share the evidence.

Welcome to the June edition.

In SAVVY, Naomi Campbell and R.O. Kwon present opposite views on whether to have children or not. To women who don’t want to be mothers, Campbell says “You will change your mind.” Kwon writes about parents who regret having children and their anguish. There are almost no spaces where a parent can discuss the taboo topic of regret.

In SKILLS, what are the top two or three reasons to HAVE or NOT HAVE children? If you had to make a case for the OPPOSITE choice, what are the two or three top reasons? Read how my three children responded to these questions.

In SOUL, I reflect on the nature and quality of our parenting skills and history and conclude that the State of the Union and parenting effectiveness was very good. Check out the reasons I offered.

Welcome to the May edition. You may notice something different about this month’s edition. Tips and Topics will now be housed on The Change Companies' website. If you click on the Resources tab and scroll down, you’ll see Tips and Topics. You can search the archives of over 21 years of content. If you type in tipsntopics.com, you will be re-directed to Tips and Topics’ new home.

I have had a productive and treasured collaboration with The Change Companies (TCC) for many years. Reconnecting Tips and Topics with TCC promises to expand the effectiveness of that collaboration...stay tuned!

In SAVVY, I highlight two of four presentations I will be doing at RISE24 in Anaheim, CA May 22-25, 2024: “Now What? A Deep Dive on Standard V and the Challenge of Putting Treatment and Recovery Management Into Practice” and “Trauma, Sobriety and Treatment Court Compliance – Finding the Balance in Behavior Change” with Leah Elsbernd.

In SKILLS, a few highlights from the other two presentations: “Skill-Building for
Treatment and Justice Teams – How to Quickly Develop an Alliance to Help People
Change” and “A Judge and Psychiatrist Unpack How to Move from Compliance to
Lasting Change: Attitudes and Practical Tips for Justice and Treatment Teams”.

In SOUL, I’m moving from my house and our home of 25 years to a new downsized, comfortable and brand new house. It’s a time of reflection, de-cluttering and change.

Welcome to the April edition, which is the start of my 22nd year of publishing Tips and Topics.

In SAVVY, guest writer Dr. DuPont shares about his prevention work with youth and how to combat misconceptions that alcohol and other drug use is a normal rite of passage and inevitable for most, if not all, teens.

In SKILLS, Dr. DuPont offers tips on what parents, families, schools and health care providers can do to change attitudes and behaviors around substance use.

In SOUL, I’ve shared before my five S’s - areas of life critical to have thought through ahead of time, not in the heat of the moment. Impulsive, unprepared behavior can result in irreversible and profoundly life-changing consequences. In this edition, I share a sixth “S”.

Welcome to the March edition of Tips and Topics and to all the new subscribers.

In SAVVY, two staff scenarios raise some clinical supervision and organizational development learning lessons. One has to do with clients who show up late for appointments and the other is when staff feel unsafe with clients.

In SKILLS, these two scenarios highlight the skills needed in supervision and organizational interventions to first assess the situation and needs before taking clinical and organizational action.

In SOUL, I have decided to down-size and live in a turn-key situation that makes it easier to lock the door and travel free from the responsibility of home maintenance. I quickly offered to buy a townhouse that had just come on the market, then abruptly yanked my offer when considering the downsides. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread, or Opportunity knocks but once. So which is it?

Welcome to the February edition of Tips and Topics and to Black History Month.

Welcome to the new year and the January edition of Tips and Topics.

In SAVVY, guest writer, Kristin Dempsey explains Harm Reduction and her just released book The Harm Reduction Workbook for Addiction.

In SKILLS, Kristin includes some of her favorite exercises that can be used to explore one’s relationship to substances or processes. The exercises are based on the spirit and skills of motivational interviewing.

In SOUL, I experienced what it is like to show up to an island village in Ghana unannounced and unexpected only to be treated like a welcome guest. Even with menu ingredients in hand, can you imagine these “guests” (intruders) expecting you to cook and serve them a meal?

Welcome to the December edition of Tips and Topics and happy holidays to all.

In SAVVY, “Parochial empathy” helps understand why we are so polarized. It is not a lack of empathy for others, but can be extreme empathy and care for those in our own community.

In SKILLS, for there to be a solution to conflict and polarization, there has to be empathy for the other side. But how to do that? Start not with facts and judgements, but rather share our stories and narratives.

In SOUL, Keith Magee paid his Uber driver for an extra hour so he could park and explain why he was a fervent Donald Trump supporter. Magee came away with a better understanding of the fears and hopes that motivated his driver, and a strong sense of human connection despite the gulf between them.

David Mee-Lee, M.D.
DML Training and Consulting